28 November 2009

Citer sedih


Skang ni bila tibe jer Hari Raya tak kiralah raya puasa ker raya haji ker berlambak2 la citer sedih di tayangkan kat TV. Konon untuk keinsafan. Hahaha...bodoh betul.

Pelik aku. Bagi aku Hari Raya ni untuk kita bergembira. Tak Gitu? Jadi untuk kita gembira tak yah lah kita fikir mende2 yang sedih2. Kan kita ada 365 hari ataupun 366 hari setahun (kalau tahun tersebut tahun lompat la) untuk mood2 lain?

Aku mintak seminggu jer. Seminggu selama 2 kali setahun untuk aku bergembira. Aku mintak semua siaran TV jangan tayang citer sedih2 dalam masa seminggu. Salah ker?

Nak kata citer2 sedih ni menginsafkan orang aku rasa tak juga. Berlambak2 jugak masalah kat luar sana tu. Nak kata orang suka bersedih pon tak juga, tapi mungkin ada kot? Tu yang aku tak faham tu. Perlukah kita rasa sedih yang palsu untuk rasa bersyukor?

Masa mula2 citer2 sedih ni main time raya aku tengok jugak tapi bila makin lama aku tengok makin banyak jer aku dah mula boring. Boringggg.

Kalau nak juga rasa keinsafan apa kata kita buat satu hari untuknya. Kita namakannya Hari Keinsafan. Tetapkan satu tarikh, jadi tiap2 tahun saper2 yang suka nangis boleh merayakannya. Masa tu tayang la 24 jam citer yang sedih2. Baru kena dengan tema kan?

Pastu cuba selitkan citer komedi. Mesti orang bengang punya. Apalaaa tayang citer kelakar ketika Hari Keinsafan. Mesti tak logik kan? Ooo tayang citer sedih ketika hari raya boleh pulak.

Ini tidak. Time2 raya camni. Time2 gua nak relaks merayakan dengan gembira korang tayang citer2 cam ni. Aparaaa tarak otak ker?

Nak suruh orang nangis ketika merayakan hari kemenangan. Nak suruh orang sedih. Masuk akal ker?

Aku rindukan raya yang cam dulu2. Aku nak pagi2 raya ada citer sarkas. Pastu citer kartun. Pastu citer kelakar. Citer yang gembira lagi menggembirakan. Citer orang nyanyi. Citer2 bodoh yang aku takyah fikir banyak2. Aku nak ketawa, ketawa dan ketawa!

Tak boleh?

Uwaaa...


27 November 2009

I Robot


Manusia kebanyakannya telah di programkan untuk menjadi robot. Sebab itu aku rasa ada citer pasal Cyborg. Cybernetics Organism. Separuh orang separuh mesin.

Mungkin korang tak rasa begitu atau mungkin korang belum sedar ataupun mungkin aku jer yang bengong. Teruskan membaca untuk menyelami kebengongan aku ni. Kalau aku bengong laaa...

Apa yang kita akan buat pada hari Isnin nih? Kita dah boleh buat anggarannya walaupun kita menangguhkan dari memikirkannya buat sementara waktu.

Rutin kita.

Kita ada satu jadual yang ntah datang dari mana. Jadual longgar yang terpaksa kita ikuti demi untuk hidup. Ada antara tugasan jadual tersebut yang lari sedikit sebanyak di sini sana tapi secara keseluruhannya kita masih mematuhinya. Cam mainframe dalam robot.

Kerja.

Semua orang dewasa kena kerja. Kalau tak kerja alamat merana. Tak merasa la kita aper2 benda yang orang lain ada. Lebih teruk lagi kita di pandang hina.

Saper yang mengilhamkan kerja? Maksud aku saper yang mula2 menentukan haaa engkau kena buat itu buat ini pastu baru boleh makan. Boleh hidup. Saper yang cipta tu yek? Takkan tiba2 pada suatu masa dahulu semua orang lahir2 jer dah tahu pasal kerja. Kerja ataupun...mati.

Orang yang lebih cerdik ataupun orang yang lebih kuat yang di nasihati orang yang lebih cerdik. Aku rasa golongan ni la yang mula2 mencipta perlakuan yang dinamakan K.E.R.J.A. Kerja.

Orang2 camni dah sedar daripada awal lagi yang manusia ni ada yang lembam sikit bila dibandingkan dengan dia orang. Mereka sedar manusia ni ada gen bodoh. gen nafsu. gen tenaga yang boleh dimanupulasikan. Hah! Gen. Tak ker cam robot tu. Dalam robot ada cip. Cip yang telah di programkan untuk mengikut arahan tuannya.

Fikir betul2. Kita kerja dari pagi sampai petang dan ada yang sampai malam buta baru balik rumah. Bagi yang kerja syif aturannya mungkin terbalik.

Kaya ker kita? Bahagia sangat ker? Puas sangat ker? Majoritinya memang keciciran.

Kasta.

Zaman demokrasi ni memang takde kasta yang berbentuk feudal totok tetapi jangan tersilap. Ianya telah di rebranding secara halus.

Kita kerja dari jam ker jam, sehari ker sehari, minggu ker minggu, bulan berganti tahun tetapi berapa ramai yang betul2 mengawal perjalanan hidup mereka secara total?

Kita nampak mereka2 yang mengatur semua ni dan kita seolah2 tak dapat berbuat apa2.

Mereka2 yang berkuasa ni la yang mengatur tata kehidupan kita. The Masters. Kita rasa kita merdeka tetapi kita sebenarnya hamba. Robot hamba untuk meneruskan kelangsungan kuasa mereka.

Masters2 ni hebat. Mereka ni ada jaringan robot2 pengawal yang dianugerahkan habuan masing2 untuk mengawalselia kita. Secara fizikal atau pun mental.

Kenapa kita perlu bersaing antara satu sama lain sehingga ada yang keciciran, kelaparan, kesakitan ataupun menderita? Kenapa kita tak menghentikannya? Kita dah tak berapa kesah sebenarnya. Janji kita selamat. Hah! Satu lagi sifat robot. Tiada perikemanusiaan. Bukan secara total la. Kitakan robot manusia.

Sistem2 juga di cipta oleh Master2 ni untuk mengelirukan kita.

Sistem keturunan. Keturunan mereka lebih mulia daripada kita. Walaupun mereka takder pun datang rumah kita tiap2 bulan bagi kita duit kita tetap kena hormat mereka. Logik ker? Logik la sebab kita robot yang dah dimandulkan akalnya. Kita tak di benarkan mengaktifkan apa yang kita fikir. Cam robot.

Sistem ketakutan. Kita dimomokkan dengan pelbagai2 benda. Mati, penjara, hantu, tangkap, bunuh malah ada antara Master2 ni yang menggunakan ketakutan terhadap neraka untuk mengawal kita. Master dalam bidang dinamakan keagamaan. Ada yang kelihatannya amat pasti bahawa kita akan masuk neraka kalau kita tak buat itu tak buat ini. Bukan ker syurga neraka tu urusan Allah?

Mereka2 ni jarang nak cerita pasal syurga. Cara2 nak masuk syurga seolah2 di pinggirkan. Bukankan lebih elok kalau kita digalakkan mengejar masuk syurga daripada di takutkan dengan neraka. Bukankan itu lebih positif? Semua tu bersebab sebenarnya. Sebab banyak tatacara2 dunia ni terpaksa di tukar kalau kita pakat ramai2 nak masuk syurga dan mereka akan kehilangan kuasa dan keselesaan. Mereka juga ada master yang lebih berkuasa.

Fikir dalam2. Orang yang betul2 kaya. Bukan kaya sikit2 tapi kaya banyoookkk. Harta tak habis sampai 7,8 keturunan. Keturunan mereka2 ni akan di bekalkan dengan bekalan terpenting. Pendidikan terbaik. Ibarat kata software dan hardware terbaik. Cam robot kan? Kan, kan?

Dan sistem yang maha hebat master2 ni berjaya cipta...

Sistem pendidikan.

Sistem yang mengharu birukan hidup kebanyakan manusia sebab biasanya apa yang di ajar selalunya tak sama dengan apa yang ada di luar sana. Berapa banyak kita kena tipu dari darjah satu sampai habis sekolah? Master2 ni sebenarnya tak kesah. Mereka perlu memanupulasi kita ketika kita paling vulnerable. Semasa kita tak tau aper2.

Kita sebagai manusia mengetahui yang setiap insan di kurniakan tuhan bakat yang berbeza2. Sifat yang berbeza2. Corak akal yang berbeza2 untuk melengkapkan antara satu sama lain tetapi apa yang di pentingkan sistem pendidikan? Sijil. Sebab sijil adalah cara yang paling mudah untuk mengkastakan manusia.

Kau ada sijil kau masuk grup A. Kau takpas SPM kau dalam grup D. Betul ker camtu? Kenapa sistem pendidikan tak memanfaatkan bakat2 yang ada. Pelbagaikan. Sebab kau pandai menghafal kau best. Sebab kau pandai Math kau ada masa depan cemerlang. Hahaha. Abih orang lain yang dikurniakan bakat lebih kepada kemahiran camner? Pandai2 dia orang la...

Kenapa kita tak boleh hidup simple? Bekerjasama antara satu sama lain. Bak kata llirik agu nyanyian Siti, "Yang tiada di bantu yang lemah di lindungi" .

Kenapa kita, dalam mengejar cita2 terlalu obses dengan material hingga membelakangkan spiritual?

Kenapa kita, apabila membuat sesuatu sentiasa mengimpikan imbuhan? Melebihkan imbuhan daripada kemanusiaan?

Kenapa kita sentiasa bercorak sama? Corak yang kita sendiri tak berdaya mengubahnya.

Corak yang menelan kita. Kemudiannya memuntahkan kita.

Kerana...

Kita adalah Cyborgs yang telah di programkan.

Kerana Master2 kita ingin kekal menjadi master

Dan apabila mereka mati mereka ingin anak2 mereka pula menaiki takhta.

Welcome to The Matrix...

...versi bengong.


26 November 2009

Boss


I've never ever wanted to be a boss. I could imagine myself being in that position, in fact I have. The money will be good and the power, although how small, would be nice. I could buy a lot of things. Maybe gain some respect. I could control a lot of things and and order around a lot of peoples.

Aaa...peoples.

That's what keeping me off. Peoples. A boss will have to deal will all kind of subordinates and I would like to confess that most people make me sick. They are so full of shits. Everyone is comparing themselve with everybody. Measuring others. And the winner will always be themselves. Come on man. Be real.

I would also have a lot of headaches. Dealing with a lot of personalities. Using different strategies for different peoples, be they the employees or the higher up management. That would be the biggest challenge. Lying and pretending. But then again isn't a challenge something that you've to brave through. To prove to yourself that you can do it? Can it be that I'm scared?

But when I kept on thinking. Looking deeper into my inner self, or maybe just my stupid genes I've come to at least one conclusion. I am not scared. I just don't want that responsibilities. To have to take care of a lot of feelings. To a tiresome lot and for what gain? I only reserve that for my family.

I would also have to kiss a lot of asses on my way ups. Yeah chup chup chup. I can even imagine the sound. I won't be able to that. I won't forgive myself.

But looking on the brighter side if I'm the boss and with my resources I could help a lot of people achieving their full potentials. Building them to be a better person. Fostering them to achieve happiness in this life or the hereafter. Guiding them. Taking care of them. Bosses seldom do that nowadays and I don't know why. Maybe they are just managers. Managing their employer's interest so that they can have a large pay every month and a fat bonus comes year end.

Right now in this world we're living money will always be the major factor. Money money money. As if we are nothing but creatures that only want to fill our desires and lusts. We are that shallow now. We know that money can't buy happiness but we keep on chasing it. Prioritising it. I can say that many are equally lost with everyone else when it comes to money.

I've experience a lot of managers. If I've counted right, 9 in total and that count doesn't included my past and present supervisor. I've totally lost counts on supervisors. And through all those years I've come to notice a lot of things. More superficial than the truth I'll say.

One of the thing that I've come to notice is the culture of Yes man. It seems that the higher you climb the more you will be a yes man. And the higher you are the more you don't want anyone to disagree with you. Couldn't imagine why and what benefit would be achieve for mankind if everyone agrees even when they have a different opinions. Wouldn't you like to know if you are doing something wrong or if you're making a mistake. Wouldn't that make you better? To learn from your mistakes?

Egos?

Yes! As always egos will rules supreme and I will say that the higher the post the bigger the egos will grow until it comes to being some sort of bodoh sombong. Hahaha you think that you're commanding them but your employees are actually laughing behind your back. And you would be saying that you couldn't care less but you are lying through you teeth. You would like to believe it, but actually you do care what people are saying about you. Please don't lie to yourself. That is the biggest crime you could create.

Someone somewhere and times and times again will always echo the word complacent to me. You are complacent. They will labeled me. You are in your comfort zone. Fine. But to me they are stupid and sometimes I do say that to their faces.

I've always been labeled as an anti social and to me that is such an overrated word. If you are not participating in some brainwashed function organise by your company then you are an anti social. So simple. Is that right? What the fuck is that? Could you please elaborate further? If being cleverer is considered an anti social behaviour then I say FUCK OFF! Wow, I'm being off topic ain't I?

I know that in this world we got to have leaders. Small, medium, large leaders or in whatever shapes they come. We do need leaders but in this life we are living I just don't want that. I just don't want to keep on bullshitting myself.

Power. Money. Position. They won't last forever.

And right now for myself I've choose peace of mind more than other things.

Others will beg to differ but that's okay with me. Everyone has the right to choose. The choice is yours.

But again...

Maybe I'm just being to clever for my own good. Huhuhu.




25 November 2009

Blur


Since a trip to my sister's house last 2 weeks I don't have the mood to write. I do try to write but I just can't. I'm lost for words. I've tried on 3 occasions and I just can't finish them. They sucks. At least to me they do.

Couldn't quite think why and I do wonder about it. Why I'm losing the drive. Before this topics after topics emerge in my head. During bath, while driving or eating. They just pops in my head.

Maybe I've just realised I'm a nobody speaking about nothing. But I've realised that before I started Tempatana. I knew that if someone is following Tempatana I've got to write everyday. Hehehe... someone following my blog. For what? Are they that bored?

Or maybe I'm a Hangat2 Taik Ayam.

Kenapa yek hangat2 taik ayam. Kenapa tak hangat2 taik itik ker, taik lembu ker atau taik kerbau ker? Pastu saper la pulak yang pegi jamah taik ayam tu sampai dia tau ianya hangat. Kemudiannya jap lagi dia pegi rasa sekali lagi taik ayam tu. Ooo...dah sejuk rupanya taik ayam nih. Cepatnyerrr. Mungkin dia ada banyak masa lapang atau dia seorang genius bahasa yang sukakan taik.

Pastu kita pulak ramai2 pakat pakai peribahasa ni. Peribahasa pasal taik ayam. Hahaha. Kita memang selalu bersetuju pada sesuatu yang tak masuk dek akal bijak kita nih. Nak wat camnerrr. Kita kan manusia.

Errr...ehem.

There seems to be so many reasons but none I could pinpoint directly as being the cause for this blurness. It seems like I'm in the dark staring at the ceiling with my mouth wide open. Gasping for words.

Maybe I've a writer's block!

OH MY GOD! NO!

Hahaha...me that perasans? No Way.

Maybe something happened to me over there in Kay the El. Some unaware sadness that occured of realised underneath. What has happened? I couldn't directly tap into it. Wow! I'm just blurrred off. Is my defence mechanism taking over? Blocking a sad truth.

Or maybe I've been hijacked of this laptop. There are fives of us and everybody want to use it and lately I do give in. A lot. I guess another PC will easily solve this problem.

Or maybe I'm tired from the trip back and forth and then the shopping trips in between. Couldn't say no to that. Visiting at least a shopping complex seems to be a must and I've got Hajar as our malls' guide. Thanks a lot Hajar. The farther the better.Thank you very much. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you thank you thank you.

And the roads over there. The roads congestion just triggered you alive even when you're sleepy or tired.

Or maybe I'm just lazy. Yeah, that's it. I'm just lazy...but I couldn't lie to myself. That's not it. I could never ever lie to myself. I know who I am, or do I? Arrrghhh pening pala gua.

But today seems to be different. I've seems to be back to my oldself. Although not that fully charged, sentences do pop up more frequently and I can tell you how glad I am with that.

So this seems to be another beginning for me and hopefully I will master all the tricks and tips to keep on running.

To keep on writing in my blog.

To keep on reading my writing myself. To syok sendiri.

Adios amigos.

C U Soon.


13 November 2009

MJ


1983.

Glove sebelah tangan,

Tarian bak citer Tamil,

Seluar senteng,

Stokin putih,

Thriller,

MICHAEL JACKSON.

1984.

Aku darjah Enam Ermin. Sek Ren St Thomas.

Michael Jackson tengah mengganas dan aku pon terpengaruh.

Beat It, Billie Jean, Thriller. Wow! Aku terpana.

Kat sekolah, P.A system masa pagi memang main lagu2 Michael.

Mungkin ada cikgu yang minat ngan MJ.

Tahun sama siaran TV3 sampai kat tempat aku.

Grammy Awards. Aku jadi teruja. Aku tak sabar.

Aku tunggu depan TV.

Hek eleh rupa2nya bila bercakap suara Michael cam pondan. Halusnyerrrrrrr.

MJ sapu bersih award2 tu. Quincy Jones pon sama naik.

MJ turun naik turun naik pentas. Pakai glove sebelah tangan je. Hebat! Aku terlopong.

Aku nak menari cam MJ, dressing stail MJ.

Aku nak jaket MJ cam dalam video Beat It. Jaket kulit kaler merah.

Aku nak jadi Michael Jackson!!! Hahaha.

Pastu MJ cipta Moonwalk pulak. KAU HEEEBBBAAATTT!!!

Aku amat pasti masa tu aku boleh buat moonwalk. Hahaha bodor betul.

Masuk sekolah menengah rock mengambil alih.

Ali Bakar. Battle of The Bands.

Search debut ngan Cinta Buatan Malaysia. Aku jadi rocker.

MJ masa tu aku dah tak berapa dengar tapi aku tau tiap2 kali album baru dia keluar.

Mana tak, promo MJ giler2.

Tapi makin lama makin pelik MJ jadi.

Jacko muncul.

Kemasyhuran ngan kekayaan tak boleh beli kebahagian rupa2nya.

Michael kendiannya di tuduh macam2, di label macam2.

Otak manusia memang misteri.

Macam2 mende pelik2 dia buat. Kesian aku kat MJ.

MJ makin lama makin disisih. Citer pasal dia semua buruk2.

Tahun ni Michael nak buat konsert. Konsert Comeback.

Aku start dengar balik lagu2 dia.

Tiket2 konsert dia dah sold out serata dunia.

25.06.2009

Aku terkedu.

...

MJ di umumkan mati.

King Of Pop dah mati.

Michael Jackson The King Of Pop...dah mati.

Michael banyak meninggalkan kenangan kat ramai orang seluruh dunia...termasuk aku.

Goodbye Michael.

Thank you very much.

Benar-Benar Sucks


Am watching Adam performing his song Benar-benar on Juara Lagu semi final.

Just want to say,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You benar-benar sucks! Big Time!


11 November 2009

S.A.L.E.S


70% Off. Wow!

Nowadays they even dare to raise it to 80%.

An 80% discount. The smart part in me couldn't even begin to comprehend with that.

Cause at least they will need to cover their cost.

Does that mean they are making an 80% profit against the cost? And then decided to sell it cheap?

Is that logical? Making that kind margin of profit?

Only drug pusher can make that kind of kill.

Or maybe a pimp.

Or maybe apartheid.

Or maybe a hustler.

Or maybe someone being overly lucky.

Or Abdul Wahub being generous.

See? Only illegal or immoral activities can make that kind of profit.

In the legitimate world only a business declared bankrupt and the goods ordered to be auctioned won't give a shit about their cost.

Maybe we have a lot of stupid people doing businesses.

Aha! That's the keyword I was trying to find. Stupid.

They're banking on our stupidity.

We are stupid. We'll already knew that the massive discount would be to good to be true but still we got sucked into it.

We already knew that the adverts are just to lure us in but still we are being suckers.

We are suckers. Yes, both you and me. We are suckers!!!

Emmm... maybe just you.

Yes some sales items will be the real deal. The cheap goods that are on par with Pasar Malam's. Old stocks. Rejected items.

If you've noticed, they also have another method in disposing unsold items.

They'll wrap it up in colourful transparent plastics covers and voila!!!

Came the advent of hampers.

See? They'll will always try to recover their cost, even for unsold or expiry ridden goods.

Businesses aims to make profit. Not the other way around.

Have they gone out of business? I mean all major retailers that you have been sucked into. Have they all gone bust?

Nooo...they are still there. Some even grew to be a fat money making enterprise.

Making money from your stupidity.

There are rules and regulations that needs to be complied prior to approval for a business to organise a sales and one of them is very much visible to you and me.

The price list displayed must has the validation by KPDNHEP. Do check it out.

And remember to use your brain.

Cause they only want to lure you in so your desires can take over.

Alamak...terlebih repek lak ari ni.



10 November 2009

Serba salah


Ada tak orang yang korang tak kenal tiba-tiba bagi salam?

Dah la bagi salam siap kenal pulak nama korang.

Tau korang kerja kat mana, malah ada pulak no henpon korang.

Walhal korang terkebil2 cuba sedaya upaya nak ingat kat mana korang pernah berjumpa.

Pastu cakap mesra pulak cam dah lama tak jumpa.

Aisehman.

Aku pernah. Malah boleh dikatakan selalu.

Serba salah beb.

Kalau korang kerja cam aku. Kerja yang selalu jumpa ngan orang kau orang akan paham.

Kadang2 aku ingat muka dia orang ni tapi tak boleh nak recall nama atau saper dia orang ni.

Biasanya kalau terjadi peristiwa ni aku akan cuba cari clue2 kat badan dia.

Clue kat badan ni biasanya cam name tag, uniform, nektie, kot, jaket, T-Shirt atau per2 lah.

Aku akan perati ada tak sebarang cap nama kompeni dia sebab biasanya aku berurusan dengan dia orang ni atas urusan rasmi.

Kalau pakai batik pastu jumpa pulak hari Khamis, konpem kerja gomen.

Kalau kebetulan jumpa kat parking. Aku tengok keter dia. Plet keter dia.

Pastu sambil bercakap2 aku cuba selit2 soalan yang boleh menolong aku.

Soalan2 ni pulak ada macam2 la, bergantung pada keadaan.

Pastu dengar dengan teliti kut2 dia tersebut la name kompeni dia ker, nama kawan dia ker, nama boss dia ker.

Tapi ada antara dia orang ni dia pon cam tau aku tak berapa nak ingat dia. Riak muka aku kot.

Nak buat camner. Takkan aku nak terus terang ngan dia yang aku tak kenal dia.

Lagi2 kalau dia ngan anak bini atau pon ngan kawan2 dia.

Biasanya orang2 cam ni dia akan cut short perbualan. Alhamdulillah...

Tapi ada gak orang2 ni yang berbual lama ngan aku. Aku layan jer.

Last2 sampai sudah tak ingat. Hehehe...

Banyak kali aku berdepan ngan situasi ni sebab tahun ni masuk 17 tahun aku kerja ngan majikan yang sama. Setianyerrrr aku.

Ramai orang dah aku jumpa, cam2 perangai dah aku tempoh. Cam2 rupa bentuk fizikal. Cam2 bau.

Esok2 aku akan berdepan lagi ngan situasi ni.

Adoiii...tak sanggup rasanya.

HELP ME!!!


08 November 2009

A View From A... Cigaretten?


Increase the price.

Put scarryyy pictures. Uuu...help me I'm so scared.

Put up no smoking signs. Launch stupid campaigns. Issue summons.

Make new rules. Create new zones.

...then make cigarettes easily available to all as always.

Uuu...our air is getting fresher.

Uuu...we are getting healthier.

Hypocrites!

Just say it you shithead. You want my money.

Whats the reason again? To deter kids from smoking?

When the customs department made a bust and seize smuggled cigarettes what is the usual comments?

The tax. How much tax would be lose! Nothing about kids buying cigarettes.

If you don't want kids to smoke then go on hard on the sellers.

Its easy. Go to shops nearest to schools. There are bound to be some cigarettes transactions.

I know this. I've also went schooling sometimes ago.

Arrest them. Make an example. Hang them dry. Slapped them with massive penalties. Jail them.

No?

The other reason is health.

We love you. Love to rape you from the ass.

We care for our citizens. We don't want them to get cancers. Heart failures. Impotency.

Lung failures. Kidney failures. Brain failures.

The damn list covers almost all the illness in the whole world.

...then make cigarettes easily available to all as always.

The smell is bad.

But then so is your farts. Your shits. Your urine's. Your mouth. Your body odours. Your armpits.

In fact all your private parts smells. Tax it?

They've also create a special phrase for the cigarettes tax. Sins tax.

Wow! They're creative.

Fine. You are in power. So you want to indirectly collect huge tax from smokers.

That's fine.

But don't always treat it like it is your...

MAK BAPAK PUNYA DUIT!


07 November 2009

Dumbo


Korang pernah tengok citer Dumbo?

Pasal gajoh telinga besor.

Gajoh ni nama asal dia Jumbo ikut nama mok dia, Mrs.Jumbo.

Dia kena ejek gajoh2 besor sekandang dengannya dengan nama Dumbo.

Dumbo ni di turunkan dari langit oleh sekor burung. Burung bangau.

Gajoh2 ni semer duk kat Sarkas.

Dumbo mula2 di suruh buat aksi2 gimnastik.

Tapi tak menjadi.

Gajoh2 ni nok bina tower ngan panjat satu sama lain. Dumbo punya hal habis tumbang tower.

Masa Dumbo nok kena lanyak Mrs. Jumbo naik minyak.

Pastu Mrs.Jumbo kena kurung. Dumbo hilang mok.

Kendian dia kawan ngan sekor tikus.

Malam2 Dumbo gi kat mok dia kena kurung. Nangis berlinang air mata.

Tikus tu ikut jugok.

Show esoknya Dumbo kena jadi badut. Kena main ngan badut2 lain.

Dumbo kena terjun dari tempat tinggi masuk dalam bakul kecik berisi air.

Dia kena main ngan api. Dumbo takut.

Ntoh camner satu hari sebab takut sangat Dumbo bulih terbang.

Telinga dia yang besor tu jadi sayap.

Pastu dia sedor2 ada kat atas pokok.

Tikus tu ikut jugok.

Ada banyok burung gagok ketawakan dia.

Dumbo masih dok cayer dia bulih terbang.

Burung2 ngan tikus member dia bagi semangat.

Last2 dia bulih terbang.

Pastu dia jadi femes.

Dia dapat jumpa mok dia semula.

Happily ever after.

Saper2 yang baca citer yang aku tulis ni sampai abis.

Memang layak di gelar...

DUMBO!

Hahaha gi beli CD la oiii.

10 Perkara


Ketika memandu kita:-

1) Tengok muka dalam cermin

2) Dengor radio

3) Ngelamun

4) Tengok meter

5) Ngunyah

6) Borak

8) Bergadoh

9) Garu gatal

10) Kagum ngan keter orang

11) Ketawakan keter orang

Betul ke ada 10?

06 November 2009

Unity In Diversity


Haha. What a joke.

The sell line should read "Unity In Common Trouble"

People will only unite when they're in the same deep shit.

We won't unite in our differences. We just won't.

We don't tell others that we think our race are superior or better. Not to their face at least.

People do unite in small scales but when you are talking about millions that is another thing.

Look around. We are merely staying out of each others way.

Don't misunderstand me. We do interact with each other but on what scales?

On the convenience scales.

We just want to make money and die.

We will unite only if we are faces with the same troubles.

Don't believe me? Lets imagine this scenario...

Ali, Muthu and Ah Chong are working in the same department.

One day Ali found out a secret about their boss siphoning moneys from their company.

Ali then told Muthu about what he found and then Muthu without hesitations conveyed it to Ah Chong.

...remember, this is just on a let say basis. Don't get too hype up.

They then found out that their boss is actually a gang leader, a notorious gang leader who'll kill and eat the hearts of his enemies.

A gang leader that will cut his enemy's tongue, cook a soup out of it.

"Sup Lidah"

Oops...hehehe

The boss, the notorious boss somehow got the info that the three of them knew what he was doing.

He then ordered for the three of them to be hunted down and brought to him.

Ali, Muthu and Ah Chong somehow also got to know this.

They then got cornered by their boss but...

Hey, lets give it a twist.


Suddenly out of nowhere they have machine guns thrown to them.

And they knew how to use it. Just like Trinity from The Matrix who knew how to fly the helicopter on the roof in just seconds.

So, the silly question is.

i) Will they fight against each other?

ii) Will they kill each other?

iii) Will they run together?

iv) Will they fight together?

Just answer the question with yes or no.

If you are in a sane mind then you will most probably choose iii and iv. If not, you're insane.

For this nation of ours to unite there must be a scaring campaign that cross over the boundaries of races instead of what we are being fed right now.

We must create a common enemy.

-Ghosts that will kill all citizens.

-An epidemic that will spare no one.

-A Bomb that will blow our country to pieces.

-Aliens that will come and suck our bloods and be our masters.

Only then will we be united.

Hah! You do agree with me don't you?

No?

Well...it doesn't matter.

I got this from watching the movie ID4.

"Independence Day"...for those who are a little bit slow.

04 November 2009

Waiting


Have you ever been on a queue?

On the roads or when you are using the ATM machines?

Or when you are at the mall? Waiting.

Do you find yourselves cursing the person in front of you?

Yes. Of course you have and you might be asking what kind of silly question is this?

Well you are lucky. I'm the master of know-how and know-what but don't know-why.

I will enlight you...

We are always waiting. We don't realise it but we are.

That's what keep us going. The Waiting.

If you are a fixed income earner you wait for your payday each month.

If you own a store you wait for your sales each day.

If you have children you wait for them to grow up.

You wait for your bonus.

You wait for Hari Raya.

You wait for Saturday and Sunday.

You wait for your loan to be approved.

...then you wait for it to be settled.

You wait for your spouse to understand you. Thin chances of that, hehehe.

You wait for your increment.

You wait for your road tax to be expired.

Your license to be renewed

Your car to be service.

See?

Now you know why I asked the question.

There's a lot of waiting that have been done and still to be done.

The list is endless...

So if you are in a jam, behind a long queue, waiting for your turn.

Smile. Be patience. You and I are already used to it.

Because subconsciously we are preparing ourselves for the ultimate.

We are waiting for...

...our death.

What a bummer.



Islamist Vs Islamist


Aik?

03 November 2009

20 Perkara


Dalam opis aku ada :-

1) Orang yang selalu tarik balik kata-kata dia bila ada reaksi negatif.

2) Orang yang stylo.

3) Orang yang mulut dia bau busuk.

4) Orang yang selalu menggunakan ayat2 Inggeris yang canggih2.

5) Orang jual kain.

6) Orang jual keropok.

7) Orang yang sentiasa menyokong Boss.

8) Orang perasan bagus.

9) Orang suka jadi hamba.

10) Orang panas baran.

11) Orang mulut becok.

12) Orang kurus kedengking.

13) Orang yang suka mengutuk orang tapi sensitif bila kena kutuk.

14) Orang yang tanya soalan yang sama berulang kali.

15) Orang darah gemuruh.

16) Orang bersifat oportunis.

17) Orang baru kawin.

18) Orang yang badan dia cam teddy bear.

19) Orang yang sekepala.

20) Orang liat bayar hutang.

Old Folks 2


They are stubborn...but sometimes so are we.

They are impossible...but sometimes so are we.

They are tiring...but sometimes so are we.

They will do what they want...but sometimes so are we.

They will get offended by words...but sometimes so are we.

They get lonely...but...

Yeah...I know you want me to repeat it.

...but sometimes so are we.

Some day if we are fortunate enough we too will be old folks.

See you there.

Exceptions


For everything in life there is always exception. At least in the world I'm living.

I have always knew this since I was quite a young age. I believe it.

Couldn't quite remember why. Maybe something happened to me or maybe I saw something. My brain seems to be blocking that memory.

Since then I have saw on many occasions how this belief has come true.

So when you are facing a dilemma, or when you are thinking you are doing the right thing.

When you think that you are a goody two-shoes.

Give someone a break.

Don't worry. Others are doing it too.

But there's a trick to it. Sometimes that someone will again need another favour.

Do choose wisely.

"Buat baik berpada-pada"




02 November 2009

Ada Duit Semua Jadi


Hahaha. Teringat aku kat citer Periwira Mat Gila dalam majalah Gila-Gila. Citer feveret aku nih. Kartunis dia Rejabhad.

Periwira Mat Gila ni watak dia gigi jongang dua batang kat depan. Cam arnab.

Motto dia pulak " Ada duit semua jadi".

Citer dia panjang. Berepisod-episod. Tak silap aku endingnya dia kawin ngan anak raja.

Sebelum tu dia menumpaskan nyamuk yang menyerang negara raja tersebut.

Sebelum tu dia mencipta sut burung yang dapat menerbangkannya sampai ke taman kat istana raja tersebut.

Aku rasa dalam citer tu puteri raja tu dah pregnant sebelum kawin tapi aku dah tak berapa ingat dah.

Nak tau saper yang kenalkan aku pada Gila-Gila? Aboh aku la...

Terima kasih Aboh. Salah satu jasamu yang akan ku kenang.

Masa tu kalau Aboh wat balik Gila-Gila baca kena ikut giliran. Saper dapat dulu untungnyerrrr

Pastu chop no 2, no 3 dan seterusnya...

Tapi lama lepas tu Aboh dah tak beli ikut setiap keluaran, entah naper...

Nasib baik ada Man Karri, abang dia dah besar2, dah kerja ada duit dan abang dia baca Gila-Gila.

Tapi leceh skit, baca kena sorok2...takut kena marah tapi tak kesah, janji boleh baca.

Kalau mood abang dia okey siap offer lagi suruh baca.

Bila dapat Gila-Gila sengih sorang2.

Masa tu aku tak berapa faham tapi skang ini aku setuju ngan Mat Gila si Periwira.

"ADA DUIT SEMUA JADI"

Racist


Everybody has it in their blood. Not 1 motherfucker can claim that he/she is not a racist in some way or another.

You are not a racist? Fuck you!!!

You see others just as human? Not their name, their colours? Go to Hell!!!

It is somewhat funny or stupid when a certain quarters are using the word racist when championing or demanding something for their race. Isn't that racist? I mean, fighting for you race. That is racist.

Here only the Malays are dubbed racist but the other fuckers who are defending their cultures, their heritages, their languages or anything else that are associated with their races are just exercising their rights as a human. Or their rights as a citizen.

Equal rights. What actually does that means?

Does that means for everything we have it must be divided 50-50?

Does it means that a race has to give up some of their privileges for others while the other race are allowed to kept whatever that came with them to this country?

From the look of things I' ll say that is exactly what equal rights look in Malaysia.

We are just dreaming if we think everyone is equal. Just look at the structure of a society, any society. There are always someone at the top, at the middle and at the bottom. There is always someone who is giving orders and there will always be someone receiving at the other end.

The believers of this so call equal rights also seems to believe strongly in democracy. Democracy will save you they'll say. It will protect you...HAHAHA bullshits. Right now democracy is just capitalism in disguise.

Hey, wait a minute, isn't in democracy majority rules?

We are in Malaysia and if you count the numbers or if you read the stats or if you just go out anywhere there is always Malays. Plenty of them I'll say.

What does that mean? It means that the Malays are the majorities but who give a fuck? Do this so call human right activist give a fuck. No they don't. They will only give it a fuck if it is to their advantages.

If you expect a race to hand you one of their right without demanding something back then you are just crazy.

If you think that your race are not receiving an equal access to education, an equal access to the services provided, an equal access to do business, an equal access to medication or just an equal access to anything then you are again being stupid. That is just politicians shitting from the mouth and it is your fault if you swallow it.

Just look at the filthy rich, are they all Malays?

Look at the expensive vehicles on the roads, the drivers are all Malays?

Just look at the bungalows, the housing estates, the shop lots...do all Malays own them? No Shit!!!

If you work hard enough or if you try hard enough, with a little luck you will make it wherever you are. Malaysia is no difference.

You must understand it. The Malays also have rights just like you.

And currently the Malays hold the numbers.

And in democracy...majority rules

So,

Go Fuck and make more babies for you race.



01 November 2009

Propaganda


Bangun jer dari tidur mata masih mamai2, masuk bilik air...buang toksik,... tap, bukak radio.

SELAMAT PAGI SEMUA!!!TAHNIAH KERANA ANDA SEDIA UNTUK DIPROPAKAN!!!

Start la cam2 citer, pihak ini telah buat itulah pihak itu dah buat inilah.

Jangan lupa itulah jangan lupa inilah.

Syukor kepada itulah kepada inilah.

Pastu ada pulak iklan2 yang mempropakan kita seterusnya.

"Barang kami bagus, barang kami ajaib!!!"

"Cubalah barang kami tinggalkan barang X!!!"

"Barang kami berkualiti, cantik menawan cam taik jubo!!!"

Tutup radio bukak TV, brok brek brok brek TV pulak mempropakan kita.

TV lagi best, ada visual tapi citernya tetap sama.

MARI KITA PROPA!!! PROPAKAN MEREKA SAMPAI KE LUBANG KUBO!!!

Start enjin kereta, bukak aircon, bukak radio...Propaganda masuk lagi ke dalam kepala otak kita.

Tengah memandu tu mak oiii keliling kita berlambak2 papan iklan. Kiri kanan depan belakang. PROPAGANDA lagi.

Sampai opis, sempat lagi minum air nih, lepak dengan member sekerja, ada pulak suratkhabar.

PANG!!! Mukasurat depan dah di tampar dengan PROPAGANDA dan propaganda ni pulak bergantung kepada surat khabar mana yang kita baca.

Belek belek belek suratkhabar tu, mata dan otak menyusun semula propaganda yang mungkin dah dilupakan...kira macam defrag la.

Member2 pulak bukak citer itu citer ini. Propaganda secara berdepan.

Pastu masuk opis, hmmm...PROPAGANDA DIGAJI mengambil alih.

"Kita mesti itu, kita mesti ini, buat itu, buat ini, korban itu korban ini" blablabla...blablabla...

Duduk la kita lebih kurang 8-10 jam kat opis sambil buat kerja sambil borak2 dan secara tak disedari kita pulak mempropakan orang apa yang telah dipropakan kepada kita. Kita jadi ejen Propa Di bawah Sedar.

"Engkau dengar tak semalam, engkau tengok tak, engkau tau tak, aku rasa, engkau rasa"...dan cam2 lagi la.

Balik kerja, ulang balik apa yang dah kita buat pagi tadi. Start kereta dan seterusnya...cam pagi tadi la kita lalui, Propaganda sebelum berehat.

Di rumah selepas selesai semua urusan, lepak bukak TV, mengadap kotak bersegi empat, pikir betul2, TV tu sebenarnya kotak jer, kotak berelektronik...duduk la kita depan kotak tu 4-5 jam mendengar propaganda.

HAHAHA kita mengadap sebuah kotak, lama pulak tu....bangangnya.

Kita layan kotak tu sampai ngantuk, pastu kita tidur.

Itulah rutin harian kita, tiap2 hari, tiap2 masa.

Mungkin kita suka untuk diprogramkan, mungkin kita suka untuk menjadi serupa. Ya. serupa orang lain supaya kita tak di asingkan, supaya kita di terima. Supaya kita di lihat 'NORMAL'

Akhirnya jadi la kita lembu yang bergerak sekawan yang kononnya menuju padang rumput menghijau tanpa menyedari sang harimau yang mengendap di balik lalang atau sang singa yang menunggu habuan.

Memang di akui maklumat amat perlu dan bermacam2 maklumat ini kita perolehi di merata2 tempat tak kira masa.

Tetapi kita wajib menyedari maklumat2 ini sentiasa di selitkan propaganda pihak2 yang berkepentingan.

Dan kebelakangan ini nampaknya penjualan produk yang dikatakan bercirikan Islam semakin rancak, menyedihkan kerana jika diperhalusi kita akan ternampak motifnya hanya atau lebih kepada untuk meraih keuntungan kepada pihak pengeluarnya.

JADI? tak ada jadi2nya la...